When Something’s Wrong

When something’s wrong, I usually freak out and on most days I contemplate to myself to reevaluate things.  My wife knows how I can be so agitated whenever I go through this phase in my life and she knows perfectly how I handle it but this time she was surprised.  I’m a man and I don’t go through post-menstrual period but the effect on me was quite similar.  I was too irate I forgot the difference between being in control and just losing it. 

When something’s wrong I would choose to be alone so that I could focus more but the whole thing just threw me off instantly.  Something happened which I clearly didn’t see coming.  Unfortunately, I was trapped and stuck in the middle of nowhere.  Right now, I haven’t figured out something yet.  There was quite a misunderstanding with the people I’m working with.  I hope they can fix the problem for me.  I’m such in a big mess and I’m seriously not in the mood to stay calm.  The worst thing about this is it involves a lot of money and when it usually does, I turn into this monster and God forbid I throw another crap on someone’s face.

When something’s wrong, things get a lot fuzzier as each day pass.  I know my actions are inexcusable but when things like these happen, things that I thought I could manage result to more mess, it makes me think otherwise.  If only my dad was alive right now.  He would advice me the smartest thing to do.  He gave me this business in the first place and now that I’m being too emotional, which truly is awkward for a man my age, I just can’t help but rant; he would be ashamed of me.  Isn’t this what women do?  But I highly doubt I’ll burst in tears; at least I have kept the strong part of me intact.  HOPEFULLY, things get better soon and fast.

Jerry, my most loyal customer, just bear with us for the mean time.  I don’t mean to be too vague about this matter but I have people looking over these things already.  Hope you don’t lose confidence in our credibility.  See you soon.

A Day with a Strange Woman

There I was, standing amidst a youthful crowd with cheerful smiles. I don’t know why I was even there but I met this person who I’m supposed to train and all that. But she’s just really childish and I can’t stand the look in her face when she sees balloons. I’m guessing she’s in her middle 20s because my wife did the same.

I don’t mean to be political about this matter but women are just so confusing. My wife Terry would do this every morning, leaving me clueless and ending up the bad guy because she thinks I don’t pay attention. Well, ladies? If you want us to pay attention you better make up your minds. If women are known to be fickle-minded, men are known to be pricks so whoever gets the stand should voice out now and fast because I’m getting tired already.

Going back to this woman, we were attending a mass car show and I had to teach her the ways in handling a car rental business, taught her that the first rule is to be familiar about cars so she went with me. But unfortunately, she was distracted by a group of guys singing a few yards away from us. A lot of her age were there screaming the band’s group which I don’t remember and surprisingly, she waved at me to join her and the rest of those youngsters. I don’t mean to sound like a person who lives an obsolete life but the music was just not ringing in my ears. Apparently, there was another guy standing beside me with a similar reaction so I asked him if he knew the band. He said NO and that was enough to end the conversation because I knew he was suffering the same thing. Although, I didn’t know who he was with, I just pretended that I had a phone call and slid away from the crowd. I went back to the car show area and kept a big distance to that disturbing place.

After that day, I assigned someone to brief the woman and strongly suggested that she be kept away from bands and balloons.

Visions

Awhile back I encountered a customer who desperately needed a car.  While we were conversing, I had a strange feeling come over me. It took me a few minutes to realize that he reminded me of someone very familiar and then it hit me.  He had a similarity with the father in BIG FISH.  This movie was so touching, I couldn’t believe how soaked my shirt was with tears.  Anyway, this guy’s name was so difficult to pronounce I spent the whole time calling him “Mr.” The conversation lasted for an hour. Yet somehow I couldn’t remember how he stepped in my office; all I can think of was the look on his face when I got up to entertain him.  Usually, I don’t spend that much time in the office but I had to work on some papers.  His face was exuberant enough to make me smile back, which rarely happens to me by the way.

The reason why I’m taking this into account is because this man made me feel bright.  I am considerably happy and fulfilled career-wise but on this particular day, I felt so at ease, and the feeling of peace continued on for a week.

All these conflicts, scandals, anger, and other negative things around us are built to suffocate us.  I believe a man deserves genuine happiness and the more we see and experience the pain of others, the more we drown together with it.  I know that this specific instance in my life may not be significant enough for other people to change their views in life but fact of the matter is that we all need something to emancipate us from this crippled world.  Not to sound cynical but do we really think the world is a better place right now?  If we are aggravated by climate change, child labor, poverty, and bad politics, among others, let alone the darkness and filth of the ground we’re stepping on.